Different Path, Different Life

As I sit down to write tonight, I realize how much the title of my blog rings true: From Med School, to Whatever. Starting out thinking that medical school was the only way I would ever be happy, and arriving at this time in my life, has been quite the journey. My undergraduate career thus far at the University of Minnesota has been full of twists and turns, emotional wins and losses, and faces that I will never forget - for good or bad reasons, and people that have left a mark on my heart that I will carry with me the rest of my life. I've learned that I have multiple opportunities available to me - and that no matter how many closed doors that seem to appear, I have thousands more that are open. 

I've come to the realization that medical school is out of the question. To many people, this realization is world crushing, but to me, it feels like the cinder blocks dragging me to the bottom of the ocean have been cut off and I'm fear to swim to the surface and breath. Along this journey, I have been afraid to falter, been afraid to change my mind - and yet the more I let myself take back my initial decisions, challenge my path, the more excited I get. Med school was a way for me to prove that I was the best, that I was the smartest person in the room. But these past few months, I have begun to realize that I no longer need that. I don't need to be the 'smartest' and 'best' in the room. I don't need to be perfect and unfaltering. I need to be human. 

Now, that being said, my interest in medicine has not been challenged. As I progress in my biochemistry degree and learn more about the pathways and cell signaling that results in complications, diseases, and ultimately death, I feel a calling to be the person in the way, the person standing guard over those around me. I want to be the one that people can come to crying when their elderly parents are suffering and don't know where to look. I want to be the one that people can bring their feverish child in as they fear the worst, and grant them the comfort that I believe my personality and compassion can provide. After shadowing doctors, I have noticed that there is not always time for this, as they have patient after patient, followed by paperwork and other responsibilities given by the hospital that come with the title of MD. I noticed that those who had the time were ones who didn't quite have the title MD, but knew seemingly just as much: Physician Assistants. 

As I watched the PA's wandering from patient to patient, socializing, comforting, and treating, I felt as though I was looking at myself. Their personalities mirrored mine - they seemed easy going and genuinely compassionate, having the time to form stronger relationship with their patients. This isn't to say that doctors do not have time, nor am I saying that doctors do not form strong and compassionate relationships - that simply isn't true. I am merely saying that it appeared as though PA's had the energy and the lifestyle that I possess and want.

Upon looking more into PA schools, the excitement only grew; I appear to be an ideal candidate with all my experiences, involvement, and even my GPA, which has been a sore spot for me the past few semesters. The length of two years is also more appealing, as I still desire to give back to the education system and children who are not afforded the same opportunities as I have been given, through Teach for America. 

At the start of the summer, my future appeared bleak and terrifying. But now, after corresponding with my Biochem 4332 professor who has not only been supportive, but encouraging of all my endeavors, and researching PA schools, as well as speaking with a TFA recruiter, my future has never looked brighter - and that is what I wanted to share with all of you.

No matter how many times your dreams change, no matter how times you feel like the future is a daunting place, remember there are hundreds of people that are rooting for you and willing to help at every corner, you only need to keep your head up.